Renwhqb

Probably good to know, you are not the first and only one in this position. Being an introvert myself and started in a consulting role with many extroverts I fully understand your position.

The best thing to do is to say it to her as you express it in your question. Almost everyone, extroverts included, understand the need to have some alone-time. The situation is probably more problematic in your head than it is with your colleague.

By giving that break a name like alone-time can help to have those breaks accepted. I did it at home and at work and in both places it is fully accepted.

Get some more people involved in the regular breaks.

I know that sounds like the exact opposite of what you want, but when there are 4 or 5 people who regularly get coffee (or whatever) together, then it'll a lot easier you to say "Sorry, I can't make it today" without your coworker pressuring you to come - she'll have other people to spend time with, so everyone wins.

Carefully address your needs while also putting yourself into your coworkers/friends position.

Honesty goes a long way, so just tell her the truth. Tell her you need some lunch breaks spent alone in order to relax and calm down but that you really like her and want to spend time with her. When you add this she will get a better grip on your issue and not mistake the reason for you disliking her.

You can do this by using so called "I" statements. To provide an example, when you would normally say "You expect me accompanying you too often", you say "I feel like..." instead. That way both of you will have a better conversation, lowering the chance of her feelings getting hurt as the situation is naturally not her "fault" anyway.

Good luck! :-)

My wife is an extrovert (weirdo... :) ), while her daughter is an introvert (aka, perfectly normal). When our daughter needs alone time to reset, she just says "I need a couple of hours alone, please", and she gets it. Nobody gets upset over it, and it's not a big issue.

Communication is key - talk to your co-worker, and tell her that it's nothing personal, but you just need some time alone. It's a physiological response. As explained in https://www.quietrev.com/why-introverts-and-extroverts-are-different-the-science/; it's the way brains are wired to handle dopamine overloads. Introverts who get overstimulated need quiet time to reset, while extroverts enjoy it and seek more.

You've already built trust and kind of a "friendship" with each other, so I would simple tell her my needs for some occasional "lonely time".

You should put it in a way that does not hurt her feelings, though. State clearly that you have no problem with her personally, and that you would like to continue your relationship normally, you just need a couple of breaks. It's critical to be sincere and to say things clearly, so that she understands your reasons. Rather than breaking your links with your co-worker, this is actually a chance to reinforce them as you are disclosing something quite personal!

As it's so often the case, a mixed solution is a great answer. Spend some of your breaks alone and others with other people in a balance that allows you to get the best of both worlds!

Buy a good pair of noise cancellation headphones.

It would be fine even if you don't play anything on it, since no one checks. But no one comes up to people plugged in. Eventually everyone will know that you enjoy your own company. Also not reacting to their statements makes introverts 'boring' for extroverts since they are attention hungry. That could help as well. :)